Ntabwo ashobora kwibuka inshuro yasambanyijwe n’umugabo w’umuryango yari yashyizwemo kuva afite imyaka ine kugeza agize imyaka irindwi, igikomere byamuteye cyatumye agera aho afata icyemezo cyo kwiyahura.
Larissa Murenzi w’imyaka 28, avuga ko ku bw’amahirwe nta ndwara zikomeye cyangwa ubumuga bw’umubiri yabikuyemo, ariko yagize igikomere gikomeye ku mutima.
“Kubera Imana” yaragikize, avuga ibyamubagaho nyuma y’imyaka myinshi acecetse, abaganga nabo baramufashije, nawe yatangiye gufasha abahuye/abahura n’ibyo yaciyemo.
Mu kiganiro na Yvette Kabatesi wa BBC, yagize ati:
“Navuga ko igikomere cyo ku mubiri gikira vuba ariko icyo ku mutima ntabwo gipfa gushira, cyane iyo utabonye ukwitaho ngo amenye ikibazo umuganyire umubwire agahinda kawe.”
Ni ibiki byamubayeho?
Ababyeyi be bimukiye mu burasirazuba bw’u Rwanda afite imyaka ine, bahitamo gusiga Larissa na musaza we ku muryango bafite icyo bapfana cya hafi i Kigali kugira ngo bahakomereze amashuri.
Umugabo waho yafataga “nka papa” yatangiye kumusambanya, akamukangisha ko azamwica naramuka abivuze, byabaye kenshi mu myaka myinshi kandi bucece, biramukomeretsa bikomeye.
Ati: “Nabitse ibintu bibi cyane mu buzima bwanjye imyaka myinshi, biranyica cyane mu mitekerereze, mu myumvire, mu marangamutima…mbaho nzi ko napfuye nta buzima mfite.”
Gusambanya abana bikozwe n’abantu bakuru ni ikibazo kigaruka kenshi mu muryango nyarwanda, leta ivuga ko yahagurukiye kukirwanya no guhana bikomeye abagikora.
Ariko abana baracyasambanywa n’ababarera ntibivugwe, byamenyekana imiryango nayo igakomakoma ngo ntibisohoke, kuko imwe ikibifata nk’amahano n’igisebo.
Byabaye no kuri Larissa Murenzi ubwo umubyeyi yamwogeje akabona mu gitsina cye ko yangijwe.
Ati: “Rimwe twatashye mu biruhuko hari umu-maman watureraga, kwa kundi woza umwana, ati ‘ko unuka byagenze gute?’, akomeje gutsimbarara ni we nabibwiye ariko ambwira ko ntagomba kubivuga, ko mu muco nyarwanda bidashoboka.
“Ariko aramvuza, angurira imiti, anyitaho, arankunda mu gahe gato nahamaze mu biruhuko.”
Umwana utameze nk’abandi
Ubwana bwe bwose yari afite agahinda ku mutima, ariko adashobora gutinyuka kuvuga ko agaterwa no gusambanywa n’umugabo umubereye ‘umubyeyi’.
Ati: “Ibyo ntibyandizaga kuko ntari kubivuga, ariko akandi kantu gato kose karandizaga, akaba ari ho nsohorera umubabaro wanjye wundi.
“Nta muntu wankundaga kuko nari icyana kigoye gihora cyiriza (kurira) kidashaka gukina n’abandi, gihora kirira batazi n’impamvu kirira.
“Ariko maze gukura nza kwiga kutarira imbere y’abantu, kubera guhora bavuga ngo ‘amarira yawe, amarira yawe’.
“Nageze aho mba igikange ariko kijunjamye, kivugana n’uwo gishaka, nta byiza, sinkunda ibiryo, sinkunda kwambara neza, sinkunda abantu, sinkunda ibirori…mbese ubuzima bwari bumeze nabi.”
Kubemeza ubundi akiyahura
Iyo myifatire yatumye Larissa Murenzi aba umwana mu muryango bavuga ko atazatsinda amashuri, bamwita ‘ikigoryi’ kandi bakavuga ko nta cyo azimarira mu buzima.
Avuga ko yishatsemo imbaraga zo gutsinda ikizamini cyo kurangiza amashuri yisumbuye kugira ngo abahinyuze. Ariko yatsinda agahita anarangiza ubuzima bwe.
Ati: “Imana yabonye ko ngeze aho mpfuye birangiye, ndibuka ko ngeze mu wa gatandatu ‘secondaire’ navuze nti ‘ngomba gupfa’.
“Nagombaga rero gukora ikizamini cya leta nkatsinda hanyuma nkiyahura ngapfa, [aho] ni ho nahuriye n’Imana.”
…Kuri njyewe mba numva nta rundi rugamba nshaka kurwana nawe, nagende azahure n’ubuzima.”
Murenzi avuga ko yagiye mu rusengero, basaba buri wese kuvuga ikimuhangayitse, maze aho kuvuga ikizami cya leta kimuri imbere, akavuga ibiri imbere cyane mu mutima we.
Mu rusengero bumvise ibye, bamusaba kubibwira umuryango we. Aratinyuka, abibwira nyina – utaragize icyo abivugaho – abwira na wa mugabo wamuhemukiye ibibi yamukoreye.
Mu muryango bashatse gukurikirana uwo mugabo, ariko kuko hari haciye imyaka myinshi, nta bimenyetso bifatika bigihari, kandi nawe ngo yumva yaramubabariye, ntibyabaho.
Ati: “…Kuri njyewe mba numva nta rundi rugamba nshaka kurwana nawe, nagende azahure n’ubuzima.”
Uwahemukiwe ahindurwa uwahemutse
Benshi mu Rwanda baracyatinya kuvuga ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina bakorewe kuko hakiri imyumvire yo gusekwa, kuvuga ko babeshya, kumva ko bidashoboka…
Nubwo Larissa yari yasohoye agahinda mu mutima we ndetse “nkumva muri njyewe narahindutse” yari atarakira neza, gusa kubivuga bishobora no kugusubiza inyuma.
Ati: “Narabivuze mbona abansubiza baza bantoneka mu gisebe, ni ko navuga, cyane mu muryango bavuga ngo ‘wabivugiye iki?’, ‘twarakubujije’…
Gusa avuga ko hari abandi bashyize igitutu ku muryango we bawubaza icyo bakoze kuri iki kibazo.
Yasabwe kureba abaganga b’ibibazo by’imitekerereze (psychologues), ajyayo “mu by’ukuri numva ko ari ugufasha abo mu muryango ngo bareke kumva ko hari ikibi bakoze cyangwa hari icyo batakoze.”
Arakomeza ati: “Ariko nabikiriyemo kuko ni ho hantu ushobora kuvuga nk’amasaha ane. Ndibuka umunsi wa mbere njyamo ninjiyemo saa yine nsohokamo saa kumi n’imwe.
“Nahavugiye ibintu byanjye byose, ni uko natangiye kujya njya ku mu ‘psychologue’ kandi byaramfashije.”
Gukira no gufasha abandi gukira
Nyuma yagiye aganira n’abandi bakobwa ku ishuri akababwira ibye, na bo bakamufungukira, abona ko ikibazo nk’icye kiri kuri benshi, maze agira igitekerezo cyo kubafasha.
Ashinga ihuriro ribahuza ngo baganire, mu 2020 ashinga ishyirahamwe ‘Baho with Larissa Foundation’ avuga ko ririmo abantu benshi, ababyeyi b’abagore, abagabo n’abakiri bato barenga 300 bahuye n’ibibazo nk’ibye cyangwa bisa na byo.
Icyo kigo giha abo bose umwanya wo kuvuga agahinda kabo no kubahuza n’umuganga n’umunyamategeko. Gufasha abandi gukira bigatuma nawe yumva bimufasha.
Ati: “Iyo nicaye nkumva undi muntu numva ka gahinda kose naciyemo kabonye igisobanuro, ni umugisha ukomeye.”
Imyaka Larissa agezemo ubu ni igihe cyo gushaka umugabo mu myumvire ya benshi muri sosiyete, ariko iyo ni ingingo imutera ubwoba kubera ibyo yaciyemo.
Ati: “[Mbere] no kumbwira ngo urankunda bisanzwe numvaga ari nk’ikintu kibi unkoreye”, ariko “hamwe no kwivuza, nibigera [gushaka umugabo] nzabigerageza kuko biri ngombwa.”